m00dy days~

Finally the missing tools are back..days ago..i couldn't changed my fonts & colors cos the tools were missing..lol..wonder where they went to...=P..It's been 4 days and i still have not recovered..hopefully is not that H1N1..*not so suay right*...Been rather moody for months cos can feel that my caLi bb has been rejecting me whenever she was with my MIL..she don't yearn for me..cried whenever i wana carry her from my MIL...very depressing..she's the first grandchild so definitely everyone dotes & pamper her ALOT...Everyone acts as the goody therefore me..the BAD one..i've no choice but to be the BAD one cos in future when she grows up..nobody is able to control her at all...Whenever she does silly things or throw temper, I will scold her..she will cry very pathetically...it breaks my heart too..but no choice...sometimes I was wondering if caLi bb really knows who her mother is?..I've read blogs & seen so many real life experience whereby the child is so sticky to their mother..NOT mine...upon seeing that..I often shed tears a few times...I know I shouldnt compare this or that..probably there's too many caregivers around till she doesnt know who her mommy is....There are alot of things which were kept in my heart...nobody to talk to...nobody understands how i feel...miUmiU will say i'm being over-sensitive & paranoid..haiz...whatever..so sick of life..sometimes I wish that I can be deaf to whatever things they said...Bad remarks..miUmiU will always side his parents by saying "They don't meant anything.."..if that's so..why comment in the first place?...sianz...